And One Step Back...

So the other day I posted a blog about Linda and how much progress I felt like she was making. I should've known better, it is a sure fire way to jinx myself. For her birthday i wanted to do something really special for her so I went on Craigslist and found a really nice victorian style dollhouse. Kimmie and I spent hours on it making it perfect. We fixed pieces and bought scrapbook paper to line the walls with. I bought her some really expensive, to scale furniture for it, and so did other family members for her birthday.

She loved it and I was so sure she would treasure it. Wrong. When I got home from class last night, Jake met me at the door looking defeated. I asked him what was going on and he said to go look on the table. There on the table sat every single piece of dollhouse furniture...broken. And not just accidently broken, pieces pulled apart, the food that was glued to the plates had been pulled off, the legs were broken off, doors pulled off of their hinges, foam pulled out of the mattress, it was crushing. The actual dollhouse itself had pieces of shingles pulled off, the paper ripped, I was appalled..and angry. Why would she do this? I don't understand.

She is destructive with everything. She has ripped off the tags from all of her new clothes so they have holes, pulled the sequins off of her dress up dresses, bitten off decorative photo frames, picked the stitches apart off of her comforter and pulled the fluff out, and the list goes on and on. I don't know if it is to be malicious, or if she just has some weird compulsion to pick things apart. It is so frustrating, and I don't know what course of action to take for discipline. For now she has lost the dollhouse, but it won't change anything. I am just so at a loss sometimes.

Two Steps Forward

We have been in counseling with Linda for several months. We have a great family counselor who really helps us find ways to reach Linda, without judgement or condemnation. Linda had been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder when she was younger. That is a really scary prognosis as the behaviors that accompany it can be very extreme. She has also been diagnosed with ADHD. Our family counselor is so supportive. He feels you cannot properly diagnose a child with something like RAD until they are much older. That is such a relief.

One of the things about Linda is she is very affectionate..with people that are not a threat to her. What I mean by that is people that she doesn't see everyday so she is not afraid of getting attached to them and getting hurt if they leave. For those of us such as my husband and I, or teachers, ect, she is usually very stand offish, only usually showing affection if she wants something. A hug followed by a "Mommy, can I (fill in the blank)" It has made it very hard to be affectionate.

It is so easy for people to judge in this situation. The child that they see is not what the teachers, or we see. They have never had to be the ones to try and get her to follow rules, or do her work, or eat, or get dressed, or sleep which she never does. We get a lot of flack for being so strict. It is so easy to pass judgement when you have never walked in our shoes. Any expert on RAD will tell you that the child needs very clear, consistent rules with no room for loopholes. You may be able to tell your child they can ride their bike up and down the block and let it be at that. I have to say "You can ride from here, to here. Do not go in people's driveways, do not go in people's houses, do not ask strangers for anything, and do not leave your bike down the street alone." It sounds like a lot of strict rules to an outsider, however, I have learned from experiance to eliminate any loopholes because she has usually done one of the things I mentioned.

Another thing that is recomended is to enforce consequences. I cannot let her slide by with breaking a rule if it is one she knows well. To do so will only make her push it further the next time. By being consistent with discipline, she learns boundaries and actually spends less time in trouble. Everytime we have thought maybe we were too strict and let things slide, she has pulled major stunts that make the whole house miserable.

Like I said, it is so easy for someone to judge, but until you have been in our house for a long period of time, don't. There are reasons for every rule we have. They might not be the same rules you would have, but she is not the same as your child. No children are the same, and no parenting technique will work on every child.

I titled this one Two Steps Forward because lately, she has been hugging us just for the sake of being affectionate. There has been no "Can I's" just simple affection. An "I love you" has even crossed her lips several times and I really think she means it. I am so excited at this progress and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Our Other Family

Through the wonder of facebook, a mentor of mine has been posting older photos of all of us that have been a member of the church's youth group in the past 10-fifteen years or so. There were several of Jake and I when we were so young. I have been a member of that church for about 15 years now, Jake for 12-minus the two years we lived in Iola. We have built so many lasting friendships and have many mentors. We were both baptized in that church, married in that church, seen our children dedicated in that church, and on a sadder note, held Mason's funeral in that church.

Now, we will get the priveledge of seeing one or more of our children baptized in that church. This week Jamie accepted Christ and will soon be baptized. I don't know when, it will probably be a few months so that my family can come down, but it is truly neat to add another big event in our family to the things we have witnessed.

VBS and HBP

This was such a busy week . This week our church did Crocodile Dock for VBS. All four kiddos attended, and I was a group leader. It was really neat to see all of the kids soak up God's love like a bunch of little sponges. Wednesday night was family night and the kids had cotton candy, sno-cones, candy, hot dogs, and then went crazy on the bouncers. Even I went through the inflatable obstacle course. I can't believe I did it because it was super high and I am scared of heights, but I sucked it up and had a blast. The neatest thing that happened was Jamie got saved. He had been asking questions for months now, but just not the right ones. It finally clicked with him and we are so proud to welcome him into our Christian family.

Friday night we went and saw Harry Potter 6. It was ok, kind of disappointing if you have read the books, but still worth seeing. Our long-time babysitter and friend is home for the summer so it has been nice to get away a couple of times. I know we are going to try and squeeze in a few more times before she goes back to school.

Both babies are sitting up all the time now and Mina just cut her first tooth. They are just growing like crazy, everything but their hair that is, LOL. Noah has started getting his groove on anytime there is music and Mina just laughs all day for no paticular reason. Speaking of babies, I need to get them into bed now. More later...

Happy Anniversary to a Great Couple

I have to say Happy Anniversary to my sister and brother-in-law. They have been married seven years this year. They are an awesome couple who truly love each other above all others. During the time they have been married, Jeremiah has spent several years deployed in Iraq. Dianne holds down the fort for him each time with grace and courage. They are truly an inspirational couple. I am so blessed to have both of them. Dianne is one of my best friends and I love her just as much as my own sisters. I realize this post is late, but I already told them over the phone so I am safe. I hope you guys had a great one and here's to many, many more to come. We love and miss you both.

What God Has Joined Together, Let Not Man Put Asunder

I have a friend that I speak to quite a lot. She and her husband have been having lots of fights in their marriage because of the actions of family members on both sides. I admit even myself worried that they were too young to get married, but they seem happy when they are not fighting over family and draw strength from each other.

She is a new Christian and we both were wondering biblically what to do in this situation. We both knew of the verse "For this reason, a man will leave his father and his mother and be united to his wife." Gen 2:24, but we got to discussing what that means. For all intent and purposes, it means the man forms a new household. He does not answer to his mother and father anymore, but to God as the head of his new household. I think this "leave and cleave" gets overlooked a lot in modern day society where conveniances such as cell phones and cars make it much easier to keep in touch. This can be both beneficial, and detrimental. It is beneficial for family members to keep in touch, but can also be detrimental when they are used to make strife.

In 1 Timothy 5:13 describes busybodies who go from house to house saying things they ought not to. This was happening with my friend. Soon more and more family members were interfering causing more problems within the marriage. I read an article on this subject which stated "Regardless of which side of the family the interference comes from, it is an assault upon the sanctity of the marriage and violates the "leave and cleave" of God's order for marriage. "

A husband who allows family on either side to interfere with the sanctity of his marriage, or to hurt, insult, or attempt to seperate him from his wife is violating the commandment given to husbands by God in Ephesians:

27 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27 and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of his body. 31 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”b 32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. Eph. 5:27-33.

None has the right to interfere with the privacy of the home, nor criticize such. Remember your family member chose that person and made a vow before God to be joined to them forever. No one can be permitted to violate the sanctity of the family.

I have heard people argue that later in Ephesians is states to "obey" your parents. Read it more closely, it states for CHILDREN to obey their parents. My friend and her spouse are not children anymore. They answer only to God. God has instructed them to honor each other above all others. Family members cannot be allowed to continue to make problems within that union.

What about their children? I do not have a biblical answer for that. In Old Testament times children were treated like property of the parents and that is not usually the case now. However, children are part of the household that the husband is head of. It is his decision. Family members should realize that when you are griping about one spouse, remember that spouse is the mother/father of your neices, nephews, grandchildren, ect. They have a large say in who spends time with their children. If they feel threatened or harrassed or disrespected in anyway visits are probably a no go.

What about forgiveness. I am an absolute believer in forgiveness. However, you can forgive someone without putting yourself in the same situation over and over again. It is no crime to seperate yourself from toxic relationships to your household. I have said that before and I say it again. A person may forgive a child molester, but is not likely to leave their child alone with them again. That is an extreme example but gets my point across.

I hope I have helped better explain my position to my friend and I genuinly hope things improve for her in the future. The sanctity of marriage should be protected. She and her husband have every right to withdraw from people that violate it, especially if talks and arguments in the past have not resolved it. Whew, I know this was long, but I feel like I made my point much better that I did over the phone with her.

Multiple Blessings

I have just learned that a friend on the IC forum just lost her third baby to Incompetent Cervix. She lost the first baby very close to how we lost Mason. Then she had a cerclage with her second one that failed, then she had a cerclage, and when that one started to fail, another one and still lost her baby.

I can't imagine going through the loss of a child multiple times. I lost a piece of my soul the day Mason died. I imagine it would feel like being pulled apart little piece by little piece. No one can explain medically how Noah and Mina are here. When I had the major bleed at 12 weeks the doctor's were concerned, when I started dilating at 22 weeks even with the stitch we were given steroid shots because it looked very likely I would have them anyday, but day after day went by and they held on. We made it all of the way to 35 weeks. It had to be a God thing. There is no other explanation. As I hold them tonight, I pray for Hope and I ask that one day she can have her miracle too.

Our doctor looking down at Noah and Mina moments after their birth. The relief and joy on his face says it all. This is one of my favorite pictures from their birth.

So Big!

The babies are growing so fast! It seems like I blink and they are doing something new. They are now eating solid foods 2-3 times a day, sitting up great, pushing up on all fours and rocking, mimicking our actions, clapping their hands, and trying to talk. If you go more than a day or two without seeing them, you miss so much.

Another kiddo who is growing so big is my nephew Zach. In some ways we profit from this as Uncle Jeremiah just packed up and shipped up a bunch of his clothes, but in other ways we miss out on so much. Last time I saw him he was just 3 months old, now he is walking and being a little ham. I can't wait until he and my SIL Dianne come to stay with us next spring. It will be so neat to watch all of the babies interact. I hope they can be as close to their cousin as I was to mine growing up.


Uncle Jeremiah, Aunt Dianne and Zach (wearing one of
the totally cute outfits they sent for Noah)

Letters to Mom

My mom is getting ready to leave on a mission trip to Moldova. It is a little country by Russia. She goes and meets up with dentists and provides free dental care for the natives. She asked Jake to be a prayer partner for her during this trip. Jake did one better. He wrote her letters to open each day while she is up there including a christian joke, and pictures of the kiddos to enjoy. But not only did he write her letters, he made Christian prayer beads for her to give out as gifts. They are beautiful and took a lot of work. I am very proud of him and I know my mom will be so pleased. He is working hard to get the favorite son-in-law award now that Josh is coming on board to give him competition.

VBS Kickoff

Today kicks off Vacation Bible School at our church. The theme this year is Crocodile Dock, where fearless kids shine God's light. Jamie and Linda and Jamie's friend Lance are going and I am a leader as well. Noah and Mina get loved on in the nursery while we are there. So far the kids are having a great time. Wednesday night is family night with a train ride, inflatables, free food, and face painting. It is a blst and the kids are so excited to go. It was really neat to be able to be a part of it. I had missed it all of the other years because I was working. I guess that is one of the perks of being laid off, I get to participate in all of the kiddos' activities.

On another note, I am still not done with my thesis paper. At this rate it will take me at least two more weeks. Sigh, I am tired of spending every evening away from my family. At least I will get a break this weekend. We were supposed to go see Harry Potter last weekend, but with the babies being sick we didn't want to leave them, we would feel too guilty. So we are going this weekend. One of the kids' favorite baby-sitters will be here and they love spending time with her. I am very much looking forward to the break.

Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep

The nursery is finally done! Here are the pics I promised, plus a few more I just thought were cute as a bonus. We are still probably going to have them sleep in our room for awhile, but it still feels good to have it done.

More Summer Reading Woes

Well the summer reading program is over. James had his reading done for weeks, it was Linda that would not finish. Last night was the end all deadline. Jake was taking them to cash in their bubble sheets and get their prize. All day long I tried to get Linda to finish reading, all day long she played around and fought me on it. When I left for class, Kimmie was here and she even tried. Linda just would not do it.

Jake came home and it was time to go. Linda was not done. Jamie cashed in his sheet and got to pick a free book. He of course picked a Magic Treehouse book which are his favorite. He also got his ticket that lets him in to the free day at Rock River Rapids. Linda will not get to go. I am so disappointed. We were hoping it would be a fun day for the whole family, but now she has to stay home. I just don't understand. I know she wanted to go, but I actually heard her tell Jamie that if she didn't get done, he should be able to take her on his pass. It is so frustrating. She skates through life trying to get everyone else to do her stuff for her. Even something like tying her shoes, she gets Jamie to do. I don't know how to fix this. For right now, maybe missing out on the fun will wake her up, but I doubt it. It is also so hard to know what is ADHD and what is Linda. I am just at a loss...

Sick Kiddos

The poor babies finally caught the Alaskan moose flu. I took them to the doctor yesterday and they both have an upper respiratory infection with conjuctivitis (pink eye) and poor Noah has an ear infection as well. It is all caused by the same form of strep bacteria. They started antibiotics and eye drops and should be fine in a few days. This is the sickest they have ever been and your heart just breaks for them. They are so congested. Jake has been sleeping on the couch so they can sleep in their swings where they are more upright to help them breathe. He insists on doing it and won't let me take a turn. He is such a good dad. Anyways, I hope James and Linda miss out on it.

On another note, they finally finished the summer reading program at the library. They will both get prizes and get to go to a free special family day at Rock River Rapids. They are super excited. VBS starts next week to, so it should be a great week for them. Wish me luck as I am a helper for VBS too. Should be interesting.

Pulling All Nighters

Since they were about eight weeks old, Noah and Mina have been sleeping through the night. Most nights they go to be about 10 and sleep until about 9 the next morning. But last night they were up several times. They both have a very runny nose and a bad cough. Several times sneezing fits and coughing woke them up. As a result, Jake and I spent most of the night up soothing sick babies.

I had forgotten how hard it was to pull all nighters. There were several times I fell asleep in the recliner holding a bottle. I have heard parents tell me how there baby is one year old and still doesn't sleep through the night. I don't know how they do it! We have a doctor's appointment this evening, hopefully it is nothing serious and easily treatable.

Be Fruitful but don't multiply

For all of my friends on the IC blog faced with hard choices. Incompetent Cervix is a devastating thing to be diagnosed with. Some women can carry a pregnancy successfully with a cerclage, other women face multiple losses. For us, any more children would mean 6 or more months of bedrest, another cerclage, and the risk that more than likely I could not carry again. In fact, they are not really sure how we carried this time. We were truly blessed. However, having already lost one baby, we had to decide if we could do that again. I know in my heart that I could not bury another child. There is also the fear that comes with the pregnancy. I spent the whole pregnancy in a constant state of fear and anxiety. It is a terrible way to live. We decided after careful consideration that I would get my tubes tied. Although it was hard to do such a permanent thing, for us we felt it was our best option. I get sad sometimes to know that I never get to experiance pregnancy and the joy of a new baby again, but I still feel it was right. I hope this helps some of you faced with this decision. Feel free to send me questions here, or on the IC forum.

Photos I Promised

Here are the pics I promised.

This is Linda clearly enjoying her birthday dessert.

Kimmie, Jordan, and Mike helping us celebrate.

Jamie having his dessert.

Present time!

Clothes! Really Mom, really...

A laptop from Grandma Linda.

Puzzles will keep us busy.

Mina doesn't get what all of the excitement is about. (Jake says she looks just like her mother here.)

Noah does though!

I found 3 old bridal gowns and a couple of bridesmaid dresses for free. Here are Linda and her friends modeling them at her slumber party. (The boys were downstairs blowing things up.)

Game Boy Fever

James and Linda have been doing chores for an allowance. They have been saving their allowance for several weeks. Then they recieved money from my grandparents, and their aunts and Uncles for their birthday. The total with their allowance added up to about $50 each, an amount I never dreamed of when I was eight. Anyways, Jake told Jamie that he could buy a used Gameboy Advance from GameStop for about $20 dollars. Jamie's eyes lit up. So Jake took them to Game Stop and they both ended up with a Gameboy and a couple of games. Since then, Jake, Jamie, and Linda have been glued to their Gameboys. I hear one of the kids several times a day say "Dad, can I have my Gameboy back now!" LOL, I guess I know what I will be getting Jake at the next holiday.

Birthday Blowout

What a weekend! Jamie and Linda had a blast on their birthday. They made out like bandits. Mike got them transformers and a high school musical microphone, Aunt Ronnie, Kimmie and Jordan got Linda dolls and a car for her new dollhouse , and Jamie a remote control car and G.I. Joe figurines. Linda got a CD player, CD's, a dollhouse, lots of clothes, jewelry, and tons of stuff for their dollhouse. Jamie got an awesome Stingray Chopper bicycle, tons of G.I.Joe stuff, clothes, stuff to make paper airplanes, and two remote control cars. Aunt Dianne and Uncle Jeremiah sent them each some cold, hard, cash folded into airplanes and hearts. (Very creative Aunt Dianne).

The Dinner was a blast, lots of family and friends. James and Linda got a free sundae, which was "awesome". They each had a couple of friends stay the night it was chaos, but they had so much fun. I will post pics later. For now, Mommy needs a nap.

Noah and Mina's Story-The Delivery

Since I was dilating so fast, they had no choice but to do a c-section right away. It was no surprise, we knew it was going to be a c-section, but they had to drop all plans and rush me up. After the epidural which was the worst part I was all laid out.

There was a ton of people in the room. Two NICU teams-one for each baby, several resident OB's since it was multiples, several nurses, and Jake. The begin the incision. In a few short minutes, Mina entered the world...butt first. (Stinker). She did not cry so the NICU team rushed to check her out. While I was worrying about her not crying, Noah was born. He let out a hearty yell. Soon after Mina began to cry. They were both breathing on their own and didn't need any oxygen. Mina was 5 lbs. 15 ozs, and Noah was 5 lbs. 10 ozs. Jake got to hold them first, then it was my turn. I didn't even feel the rest of the c-section or sewing up, I was too overwhelmed.

This and That

Things are well under way for the big birthay celebration this weekend. We have finalized the plans for a family/friends lunch at an undisclosed (for now) location. The presents are bought, but still need wrapped, and stuff has been bought in preparation for the friends staying the night. They are very excited.

Noah has two teeth now! He is also saying "Mama" on purpose now. I think Mina will be the first to crawl though. She is trying very hard. The are also developing very different personalities. Jake's cousin Kimmie was hanging with us yesterday and Noah was totally teasing her. He would hold his hands up like he wanted her to pick him up and when she would reach for him, he would pull them back down and laugh. He did this over and over again. I guess he has his Daddy's sense of humor.

On another note, I am considering taking this blog private. I have not reached a decision yet. In discussion with family members, they have said not to, there is no shame in telling the truth. I agree with that, but if it keeps someone from using this as manipulation in a way to fire up people then it is worth considering. However, to this person I say "Nice try" if you are going to tell people I said something in here, maybe you should make sure they can't go read the truth for themselves later. Also, thank you for cementing to Jake that his decision was positively the right choice. If he had any doubts, or any thoughts of changing it, you pretty much ruined it. If I make it private, or if I move it to a new location, I will let those of you know on the IC forum, or by personal e-mail.

Things that make you feel old

I have 3 little sisters. Julie is 2 years younger than myself, but then there is a big age gap with Karen being 9 years younger and Anna being 12. Julie is married and was stationed in Alaska, Karen and Anna are 19 and 16 and live in Missouri. For the record during the time I was pregnant one sister lived in Alaska and the other two were students and/or under-age and in no position to throw me a baby shower so the idiotic comment made by one person about them throwing me a baby shower is absurd and just plain stupid, one of many similiar such comments. Plus, even though they couldn't attend the shower, they at least made an effort to send a gift, and/or call the day of the church shower in which anyone was invited to. ( I had to get that off my chest).

Anyways, back to the feeling old. Karen called me yesterday to announce her engagement! She still seems like a baby to me. I know I was engaged when I was her age, but still, sniff, she is one of my baby sisters. For the record, she has been dating Josh for four years and he is a really nice boy and obviously smitten with her. He reminds me a lot of Jake at that age. I think he's great, but it still seems to young. However, I support their decision and I guess we will be making another family trip to Missouri soon. I have put on here a pic of the ring and a photo of the happy couple. (Isn't she beautiful).

Carnivals, Fireworks, and Swimming..oh my!

What a busy week. Our church had a lot of activities this week. Monday we went for a free swim at the local pool. James and Linda got to swim, and go down an awesome water slide. Wednesday night our church had a sort of carnival to try and reach new members. There were several inflatables there and the kids had a blast. There was one where the kids wore a velcro suit and jumped on a velcro board to try and stick to it. It was hilarious to watch. Firday night brought more swimming and then Sunday we spent with my Uncle and cousins. The kiddos shot off a ton of fireworks, ate a three foot long gummy snake, had bar-b-que, and watched in awe at some of the big ones. The babies are amazing, they are so mellow. The had their first swim and watched their first fireworks all without tears or fear. They just took it all in stride.

This weekend is Jamie and Linda's birthday. I found an awesome dollhouse for Linda off of craiglist and James is getting a bicycle that looks like an american chopper. They are also getting an assortment of other gifts as well including a CD player. We have a special outing planned during the day with friends and family, and then both kiddos are having a couple of friends stay the night. (Wish us luck). I will post pictures, it should be exciting.

Noah and Mina's Story-3rd Trimester

Finally I reached the third trimester. Everything was still going great and there was an end in sight to the bedrest. I was released from the bedrest at 34 weeks...kind of. I was only allowed one outing a day, and it had to be mostly sitting down. For instance I could go to Wal-Mart, but I had to ride in the little carts. My friends made sure I had a fun. We all went to lunch, to Target, and had a blast. It was also the same week as Thanksgiving so I got to be released in time to cook my very first Thanksgiving meal.

At 35 weeks and 3 days I started feeling a little trickle everytime I would stand up. I called my doctor who advised me to go to the hospital and get checked. I still had the cerclage in. The game plan was that I would have an amniocentisis at 36 weeks to check the babies lung maturity. Then the cerclage would be removed. If the lungs were mature, I would have a c-section that day, if not we would see how far I could go without the stitch. The reason they remove the stitch is because if you go into labor with it in, you can rip through it permantly damaging your cervix.

So I went to the hospital and they did not think my water had broken, but they noted contractions every 2-7 minutes. Since they were not regular though they sent me home to rest. The next day Jake's coworkers threw me a baby shower. I was feeling funky all day long. Really strong contractions and just a feeling of pressure between my hips. The babies had dropped. I came home and took a Benadryl and laid down.

Later that night some men from our church came over to help Jake finish the remodel on our new master bedroom. They completed it and we ordered pizza as a thank you. I was hurting so bad from the contractions that I could not eat. After they left I went and laid back down. My sister-in-law called to check on me and I was hurting too bad to talk. Jake told her I was having really strong Braxton Hicks. She said we should time them because they may not be Braxton Hicks. We timed them with her on the phone and holy cow they were coming every two minutes on the dot. she and Jake convinced me to go to the hospital to get checked out.

So at about 10 o'clock that night we went to the hospital. We were checked in and a monitor was put on. Sure enough it was labor, and pretty advanced labor. Now they were worried because I still had my cerclage, and it was still early to deliver if I didn't have to. They made the decision to try and stop the contractions for the night and let my doctor take out the stitch in the morning.

The next morning they come to take my stitch out. They tell me not to get too excited because a lot of times there will be scar tissue and the women will take days or weeks to dilate. However, since I was already in labor, this might not happen. They thought I would deliver in the next day or two. They use the speculem and cut the stitch. I have put a picture of it above. Then they check to see if I am dilated at all. Holy cupcake I instantly dialted to 4 and was fully effaced. There was no way I was leaving the hospital. They told my husband he could go shower at home since it was likely to be hours before anything happened.

A few minutes later I got real bad contractions so I called the nurse. She checked me again and I am dilated to 7 withing 10 minutes of getting checked the first time. She says I need a c-section now and they start prepping me. I had to call my husband and say turn around, come back! He never did get his shower. Poor guy. Next time..delivery.