Two Weeks Post Op

It has been two weeks since my surgery and I am so frustrated at how slow my recovery seems to be. I am still not able to pick up the babies, although I can carry them if someone hands them to me. I still have daily pain and I tire so easily. Even the littlest things like showering tire me out so badly. I see the doctor this Friday and I am hoping he will have good news for me on when I can expect to feel better.

I am sorry for not posting about Mason lately. The truth is that I don't have the emotional energy right now. Even though I was told not to try and concieve again, I am still depressed at the loss of the option. I had always hoped deep down that technology would make great advances in IC and that maybe I could have another when it did. Now that option is gone forever. I am truly grateful for the chance to have had Noah and Mina and for the chance to adopt Jamie and Linda, but noone likes to be rendered sterile in their 20's. I have been really down and truthfully blocking all other emotions for now. I think I am afraid to open the flood gates right now and overwhelm myself. One of the blessings about being dependent on help is that Jake's cousin had been here everyday to help. She is so lively and fun that it keeps me distracted from grieving for the loss of my fertility. I know it sounds like a silly thing to be bummed about, but I am. I will try to continue his story here very soon. Please be patient for me and a few prayers for peace wouldn't hurt either.