Whole Again

The week is slowly dragging on. Each day the grief seems to intensify. Thursday is Mason's birthday. I have been having nightmares again. They were really bad for the first six months or so, then they seemed to fade, but every year they seem to return around the anniversary of his birth/death. It makes for a very tired mom. I am thankful for family and friends that remember and spend time with me just talking about him and making sure I know they are here for us. During the day it is not as bad, the kids keep me busy, but nights are hard and seem to drag on forever. I get so frustrated when people say something like, well you have Noah and Mina now like that fixes everything. Don't get me worng, I am so blessed by each and every one of my children, but there is still a hole in my heart, and a family member missing. There is a song that says "Can we not wait one more hour, watching for our savior?" That is so true, I cannot wait until the day my family is reunited and whole again.