2 Years.....

2 years ago today began the worst week of my life. 2 years ago today I was put into the hospital and told that Mason would not survive. IC stole something from me. This whole week is incredibly painful, but honestly better than I thought it would be two years ago. 2 years ago I honestly thought I would never have peace in my heart again. I literally was drowning in my own grief. I have still cried every day for several days now. I am still heartbroken. I am still homesick for heaven because I cannot wait to be reunited with my son, but I am least functionable. There are times when I am even happy. There are times when I laugh...and mean it instead of laughing because I know people worried about me when I didn't. I can hold Noah now and not constantly be wondering if that is what Mason would have looked like at that age. If you are looking for chipper blogs, don't come here for the next week or so, I am not that healed. For at least the next week, my mind is elsewhere and my heart is heavy. Those of you who I know have experianced the same thing will understand. All of my other dear readers please be patient with me, I need it right now. And while you are at it, say some prayers for Jake and I.