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Tuesday, July 13, 2010

Sometimes I swear I am going crazy


All of you grieving mommies out there might be able to relate to this, or maybe I am just losing my mind. It has now been two and a half years since we said goodbye to our sweet Mason. Things are a little better in terms of how I am handling grief. However, some days, out of nowhere, I will just crash and with the crying and heartache I feel like I have been transported to square one. After a long cry I usually feel better. Sometimes though, the way I can go from just fine to heart broken makes me feel a little crazy. Maybe sometimes you just have to cry.

5 comments:

Shannon said...

have peace knowing you will again have him to hold and kiss. he's forever yours.

Stephanie Shaw said...

Thanks Shannon. That is the most joyful thing to come out of all this. There is a song about losing a child that says "Can we not wait for one more hour watching for our Savior". I have always said that I do not know how people who are not saved can make it through grief. To not have that promise would make healing seem impossible. Praise Jesus for his gift that allows us to have hope.

rebecca said...

I read your story on Faces of Loss, Faces of Hope & just cried..I'm so sorry for your loss. I too live in Wichita & just lost my daughter at 23wks. It gives me hope to know you later went on to have twins...I pray that we will be blessed with a living child someday as well. Thank you for telling your story.

Curls O Fred said...

I found you via the Fol/foh page. Your story was beautiful and sad and the tears flowed. I live in Wichita, and I always wonder if there are other women who have dealt with this nearby. I've only met two other women who have experienced stillbirth/infant loss. I'm glad you have your two sets of twins to keep you busy, but always remembering Mason. Much love.

Stephanie Shaw said...

That makes two of you that live in Wichita. I would love to meet you in person and just share stories, tears, and hope. Please send me an e-mail. I am usually up late and can visit by phone, or we can meet somewhere. Thank you so much for the sweet feedback and please check out the rest of my blog because I go into much more detail and I am getting to the part in the story now where hope and healing come in.